Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
