Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
this will be a night to untag.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
