Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
