I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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