I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
