So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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