what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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