NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
