are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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