Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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