Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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