handjob tips. give me some.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
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He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
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Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize