Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I just googled if crying burns calories
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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