# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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