I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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