OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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