Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
