my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
