I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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