We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
