Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize