It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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