I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
