he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
