You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
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She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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