btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
