so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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