I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
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