Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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