Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize