Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
