I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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