My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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