I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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