We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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