whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
