Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
