You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize