omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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