Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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