I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
