I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize