If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
