i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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