i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
