So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
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