so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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