My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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