I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize