I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
