i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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