Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
