I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
