i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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