what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
