didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
