it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
