OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
