I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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