Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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