my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
