kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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