I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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