i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize
