oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
whose parrot is this?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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